mint-o-rama

why, why, why are there so many godforsaken flavours of mint toothpaste to choose from?

recently i was at the drugstore and i found myself standing in the toothpaste aisle, debating this question while listening to the lilting sounds of right said fred singing "i'm too sexy" - cole likes those musical holiday cards that launch a cornball song at their unwitting recipient, and i indulge this obsession of his until we get to the till just so i have enough time to debate which type of mint is the right one for me and so on... i tells you, that song is (hilarious and) plenty enjoyable as a break from the one dog eared musical card that we own, which plays "it's the most wonderful time of the year".

anyway, rambling aside (ahem) - crest alone had these mints:

clean mint | cool mint | fresh clean mint | minty fresh paste | clean mint paste | clean night mint | moonlight mint | radiant mint | refreshing mint | invigorating mint | revitalizing mint | vanilla mint | strong mint | peppermint | mild mint | freshmint (with no space!)

am i really supposed to believe these are all drastically different from each other? or different at all? and this paradox of choice was coming after i had to navigate the minefield of which type of toothpaste i wanted in general. tartar control? whitening? general tooth health? nighttime toothpaste? fresh breath and whitening? fresher breath but yellow teeth presumably, since no mention of whitening made it to the carton? extremely white teeth and crazily fresh breath?

in the end i picked cinnamon, (which actually tastes too much like gum) for sensitive teeth, cause i'm a renegade and all (or because i normally like cinnamon gum and have sensitive teeth).